Gone
by Nessy
Summary: How does Mulder deal with Scully being taken again?


TITLE: Gone (1/1)  
AUTHORS: Nessy and Cirglas  
CLASSIFICATION: S, R, A / No-Romos beware! (Are there any?)  
RATING: PG-13 (A little cursing - not even as bad as on the  
show, though.)  
SUMMARY: Scully is taken again. How does Mulder deal with  
that? Warning : Happy ending! ...smile...  
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully Romance, Scully missing  
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: Set sometime after Redux II with  
additional major Duane Barry trilogy spoilers. Before The  
Movie and 6th Season.  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is our first attempt at angst. The  
middle turned out to be rather funny, though, so it's not too  
depressing.  
POST: anywhere, just please let us know...  
FEEDBACK: The characters belong to Chris Carter and 10-13  
productions. Please don't sue us... We're only having fun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**GONE (1/1)**  
by Nessy and Cirglas

Day 1 

7:30 pm  
Skinner's Office

The door banged open and Mulder burst into Skinner's office.  
Jumping up from his seat the irritated A.D. demanded, "What  
the-"

"Where is that smoking bastard? He knows where she is!",  
Mulder shouted.

Puzzled, Skinner looked over Mulder's  
shoulder at the two security officers that had appeared in  
the door right after Mulder. They tried to hold Mulder back,  
which was a rather futile attempt when he was on a mission.  
And, God, was he on a mission now.

Mulder struggled to get out of their grip and when he didn't succeed, he punched one  
of them in the jaw. That gave him enough leverage to step  
farther into Skinner's office.

Skinner was confused, to say the least. But it was clear that  
Mulder wanted to talk to him. And the best thing to do in  
that case was to hear Mulder out. Skinner waved the security  
officers away hastily. "That's okay. I'll deal with him  
alone."

They looked at him surprised and then skeptically, but,  
hoping that their boss knew what he was doing, they left.

Mulder looked at him with as much gratitude as he could  
muster since most of his brain was occupied by other  
thoughts.

"Agent Mulder. Care to tell me what that was all about?"  
Actually, it wasn't meant as a question.

Mulder looked at him and then sighed heavily. Skinner was  
shocked to see that Mulder still wore an extremely terrified  
expression. Mulder finally sat down and buried his face in  
his hands.

"Sir, she -- she's gone." He mumbled through his hands,  
barely audible for Skinner. "They-" he choked on his words  
"They took her again."

Skinner felt for Mulder, knowing instinctively that 'she' was  
Scully, because only something about Scully could affect  
Mulder this much. But he hoped Mulder didn't mean what  
Skinner thought he meant. If Scully had disappeared again...  
"Mulder, what happened?"

Mulder rubbed his face and then raked his hands nervously  
through his hair. When Mulder looked up Skinner was able to  
see the lost look in his eyes.

"We were just driving ... down that damn country road just  
out of Arlington on our way to one of the witnesses, when...  
when suddenly... suddenly there are lights... bright,  
beaming lights... in the sky... they're so bright they blind  
me. The next thing I know... I lost 9 minutes. And she's  
gone... just simply vanished... from right next to me."

Mulder trailed off again and Skinner had time to sort his  
thoughts. He couldn't believe what Mulder was revealing. That  
They had taken Scully again. That They weren't finished with  
her, even though she had almost died the last time.

Anger boiled in Skinner, but he noticed that, right now,  
Mulder seemed to be the one in need of some support.  
Mulder sat there, a picture of misery, slumped, rumpled,  
quite pale, with a lost look in his eyes in the big chair in  
front of the A.D.'s desk. The last time she was gone, he had  
been devastated - even though it had only been a year or so  
into their partnership. This time, it would kill him. Skinner  
was sure about it.

"I'll call the missing-persons department and assemble a  
search-party to look for her. Mulder, I think you should go  
home and catch a little sleep. You'd be more help for Scully  
when you've rested up and you can join back into the search  
with renewed energy ", he suggested even though he knew there  
would be no point to it.

Mulder jumped up as if alone the assumption of him sleeping  
while Scully was missing were an insult. And probably it was.  
"Sir! You can't make me go home! I -- I have to look for her.  
I need to find her."

Skinner nodded. That had been what he had expected. That was  
what had happened last time. So why should it be different  
this time?

---------------------

Day 1  
9:35 pm  
Margaret Scully's residence

Margaret Scully opened the door, only to find Mulder standing  
there looking very ill, weak and nervous.

"Fox?" She was truly surprised to see him.

"Um...Mrs. Scully?"

She knew right away that something was very wrong; the pain  
in his eyes and the posture of a broken man made her shudder  
at the thought at what could have caused it. She ushered him  
in and led him to her living room, but he refused to sit  
down. Instead he chose to pace her living room in a tight  
half circle. She forced herself to sit down and not show him  
how upset she herself was.

"What is it, Fox?" She silently scolded herself for having  
let fear creep into her voice. He didn't need her fear on top  
of his own load of it.

At the sound of her voice Mulder stopped pacing and stood  
looking at her fearfully. It broke her heart when she  
realized that it was her, or her reaction to what he would  
have to say, what he was so afraid of.

Then his form slumped and he gave in to the weariness and  
resignation that flooded him.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Scully.", he stated in a voice that made her  
lift a prayer for this poor man who loved her daughter so  
much. "I couldn't save her. I should've stopped Them, but I  
didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. I  
... ," his voice quavered, "I'm so sorry ... so sorry."

Margaret immediately realized what he was talking about. Oh  
God, her Dana was gone again? With horror she remembered the  
three endless months her daughter had been missing before.  
And then in what condition Dana had been when she had been  
returned. She had been dying and the doctors and Maggie  
herself had already given up hope. But the man who stood  
right in front of her now hadn't given up on her daughter  
during that horrible time. He probably hadn't now, either.

She sat there lost in her thoughts when her tear-blurred view  
changed: She blinked a few times and focused her gaze on  
Mulder who was now kneeling before her.

"Mrs. Scully... Mrs. Scully, will you ever forgive me?" That  
was when Margaret noticed that Mulder was crying, too. His  
tears were running down his cheeks and his eyes showed deep  
regret.

"Why, Fox, I know you'd do anything to change the situation.  
It's not your fault. And therefore there is nothing to  
forgive." Relieved at her words and exhausted from the  
terrible ordeal of the last hours, he laid his head on her  
lap and let her console him, something she, of course, gladly  
did.

-----------------------

Day 2  
5:51 pm  
An old warehouse

Mulder kicked in the door.  
What met his eyes made them sting. There were pictures of  
Scully hanging everywhere. It was the goddamn giant  
warehouse's wallpaper. AND carpet. His eyes roamed around and  
he looked into Scully's brilliant blue eyes. But to him they  
were accusing him: "Why haven't you found me yet? They're  
hurting me. Help me, Mulder. Why aren't you helping me?"

/Oh God, Scully, I'm trying!/

Mulder knew that They were laughing at him. They had led him  
to this warehouse and had welcomed him with all those  
pictures of Scully. The past day of searching had been  
totally useless. He had wasted his time following leads on  
Scully's abduction that were dead ends. They sure knew how to  
torture him. But the worst thing was that taking Scully was  
just another way to torment him. Scully would be hurt, just  
so They could get to him. And that thought was unbearable.

Suddenly another light in the building went on. It threw a  
beam of light on a tape recorder sitting on a table at the  
other side of the building. He made himself go over and then  
he pressed the 'play' button.

Cancer Man's voice told him:  
"Welcome, Agent Mulder. I am sure you figured out our little  
plan by now. We needed to keep you away from Agent Scully's  
whereabouts a while longer, since we were in the middle of a  
very important test. And then we needed time to plan her  
transfer. You probably searched in circles for about a day  
now, right? Well, if it makes you feel better, I can tell you  
that you almost found what you are looking for. Agent Scully  
was kept here until about 1 pm today. Sorry, you did not  
arrive on time. Thank you for playing along so well. We will  
meet again, do not worry."

Mulder swung his arm across the table and the tape recorder  
went crashing to the floor. In his rage he dumped the table  
and then turned around to the wall and pounded against it. He  
was tired of these games. He wanted Scully back. If not that  
then at least he wanted to be able to punish Them for taking  
Scully.

How could anybody be so cruel?

He hoped she was still alive. But was there still a chance he  
would find her? He'd just have to try. He only hoped that  
black lunged bastard hadn't set up any other traps and wrong  
evidence for him. He turned away from the wall and opened his  
eyes. He was exhausted. The pounding of the wall hadn't done  
him any good, either. He picked up one of the pictures of  
Scully from the floor and tears formed in his eyes.

It was a picture of her face and shoulders, blue eyes looking  
directly at the camera. She had this absolute typical,  
scullyesk look which she wore when she decided she would  
solve that puzzle no matter what.  
Mulder noticed that he hadn't been able to hold all the tears  
back and now they were softly but steadily dripping onto the  
photo.

/Oh, Scully... You don't deserve this./

But then Mulder realized that Cancerman had planned for him  
to do just that. He had wanted Mulder to exhaust himself, to  
blame and to pity himself and most of all give up the hope to  
find Scully. But he wouldn't let him win, Mulder decided.  
Right there and then he promised Scully that he wouldn't let  
himself be distracted from his search, wouldn't give up on  
her as long as there was still the scant chance that she was  
alive and waiting for him to find her.

"I won't give up!" He called to Scully's faces and stormed  
out of the warehouse.

------------------

Day 3  
11:30 pm  
Mulder's apartment building

Mulder unlocked the door to his apartment building. He was  
not there out of his free will, Skinner had sent him home.

/Yeah, Skinner, of course. 'Go get some sleep.', you said.  
Right. Scully's missing for two days now, and I'll go home  
and sleep a few hours. Sure./

Mulder had been looking for Scully over 50 hours. He had  
searched everywhere for her. He had contacted - threatened -  
everybody he thought might know where Scully was or who might  
even be able to bring her back.

The worst thing though had been to tell Mrs. Scully that he  
had failed her daughter once again. Once again They had taken  
her and he hadn't prevented it. But instead of the scolding  
he had expected, the woman had only given him understanding  
and comfort.

Mulder shook his head. If there was anybody who surprised him  
more than his Scully, it was her mother. He himself knew very  
well that Scully had been taken because of him and that he  
should have saved her. After all, it was his job to keep her  
safe. They were partners.

Mulder ascended the few steps to the elevator. It felt as if  
he was climbing the steps all the way to his apartment, he  
was so weak. He knew he was drained but at the same time knew  
he wouldn't find any sleep anyway. So why try?

But Skinner's order gave him a good excuse to check his voice  
mail. Maybe the Gunmen had found a lead. That thought gave  
him just enough energy to stand upright until the elevator  
arrived. The doors opened and he stepped into the cubicle.

/If they had found anything they would have called me on my  
cell phone./

He slumped against the metal side. While the cabin climbed  
the floors he couldn't have managed to climb, Mulder slowly  
slid to the floor. He buried his head in his hands and pulled  
his knees to his chest. He had hoped he would never have to  
go through this again. All these years had passed since Duane  
Berry. And now, when the nightmares from the last time just  
had started to come less frequently, They took her again. And  
this time They might not give her back to him.

/Oh, God, please! Don't take her from me forever. I need her.  
I can't go on without her./

The elevator doors opened with an unfriendly "Ding",  
reminding him that he ought to do something instead of just  
sitting there and feeling sorry for himself.

He pushed himself off the ground and stepped into the dark  
hallway. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the  
darkness. But the shadows remained. Especially one right in  
front of his door. It was a dark spot but it somehow didn't  
look like a shadow anymore.

He couldn't have said why he knew it was her. He just knew  
somehow. Maybe it was that special bond they shared. Maybe  
just a haunch. But whatever it was, he knew right away that  
it was her. They had given her back. To him.

New-found energy made him run the last few feet to his door.  
He skidded to a stop, fell to his knees next to her and  
folded her into his arms. He felt her heartbeat and saw her  
chest rising and falling with every breath she took.  
/She's alive! Thank God, she's alive!/

She was still dressed in the same clothes that she had worn  
that fateful day. A navy suit with cream-colored blouse, with  
her trench coat covering most of it.

"Scully", his voice cracked on her name, a name he thought he  
might never say in such happiness again.

"Scully?" That sounded a little more convincing. He held her  
to his chest and rocked her back and forth. Tears were  
streaming down his face, tears of happiness, wetting the  
strands of copper he had buried his face in.

"Come on, Scully. Come back to me." Mulder cooed softly.  
"Scully, wake up."

Then he noticed her stir. And a moan escaped her throat. He  
pulled away in fear of smothering her. He looked at her  
angel-like face and then her eyes - her beautiful, stunning  
blue eyes - fluttered open. Her eyes darted around the  
hallway and then settled on his. He smiled down reassuringly  
at her and she returned his smile.

"Welcome back, Scully."

"Wha-- What happened?" Scully's eyebrows wrinkled in  
confusion.

"What do you remember?" Mulder asked surprised. Somehow he  
had thought that this time she would remember her abduction.

She touched the tip of her tongue to the corner of her mouth  
in concentration and, after a moment's hesitation, said:  
"Well, I remember the Bartley Case. And that we were on our  
way to question a witness... some lights... After that... a  
total blank. What happened?"

He smiled at her like the most precious thing in the world  
had been returned to him and brushed a copper strand out of  
her face. "You were... gone..."

Scully's eyebrows shot up and Mulder rejoiced at the fact  
that he would see this familiar gesture many more times. He  
couldn't stop grinning like a fool. He wouldn't let the dark  
mood encompass him, not right now. There was a time for  
revenge, but also a time for happiness. And he wanted to be  
happy now. Scully was back and didn't seem hurt or frightened  
or in any other way negatively affected by what had happened  
to her. /She's okay. She'll be fine.../ Scully's now drawn-  
together eyebrows made Mulder smile even wider. How could one  
woman's mere presence make a man so happy?

Until Scully asked: "How long was I 'gone'?"

Mulder's smile faded as he thought about all the agony of the  
last two days and shifted his weight from one knee to the  
other. "Two days." He looked away uncomfortably.

Scully reached up and turned his face back to her. She sought  
his gaze and that unspoken something passed between them.  
Something more than friendship, noticed by both, but not  
acknowledged. Now it was Scully's turn to smile reassuringly.

"But now I'm back."

How could she know what her absence had done to him?  
"But we need to make sure you're all right. Can you stand  
up?" He scooted back a little to give her enough room to  
move. But he couldn't make himself let go of her, so a  
helping hand remained at the small of her back. Finally, she  
was in a standing position, resting against the wall. And,  
even though a little wobbly, her legs seemed to be able to  
hold her upright.

"Well, looks like it could be worse." Scully stated as she  
had finally regained her balance. "I think I'll be fine."

"Bzzzzz, wrong answer, contestant No. 1. Sorry, you don't win  
the new microwave." Mulder grinned at Scully's arched  
eyebrow. "Anyway, I'll take you to the hospital and have them  
check you out, so that we can be sure that you really are  
'fine'."

Scully looked like she wanted to contradict him, and sure  
enough, she started: "Mulder--"

"No, Scully, I want to have you checked through." His  
expression left no doubt that he would bring her to the  
doctors kicking and fighting if the need should arise and  
nothing that she said would change his mind.

"Oh well, it's not like I have anything else planned for  
tonight anyway..."

----------------------

Day 4  
0:15 am  
Trinity Hospital  
Outside of Room No. 403

(Skinner.)  
"Um, Sir? This is Mulder."

Mulder heard the AD sigh. He was probably thinking that  
Mulder wanted to know how far they were on their search for  
Scully. That WOULD have been the reason for him to call if he  
hadn't been sure that Scully was safe and just on the other  
side of the wall behind him.

(Yes, Agent Mulder, what can I do for you.) Not a question.  
"Um, I wanted to let you know that you can stop the search.  
Scully's at the Trinity Hospital and seems to be fine, but I  
brought her here to make sure."

(That's wonderful news, Mulder. I'll be right there.)

"Sir, you don't have to --"

Mulder was talking to a dial tone. /Oh, well./

/Now, on to the next call.../

(Hello?) A sleepy familiar voice greeted him. He cursed  
silently for not checking the time before calling.

"Mrs. Scully?"

(FOX! What happened?) He heard the fear in her voice. She  
thought he was calling to tell her they found a body or at  
least that her daughter was in a coma and would probably  
never wake up again. /Not this time. Hopefully not ever  
again./

"I'm sorry to wake you, Mrs. Scully. But I wanted to tell you  
that Scully is well. Right now she is being checked out by a  
whole staff of doctors, here in Trinity Hospital. But she's  
conscious and talking and telling the doctors what to do..."  
He realized he was rambling and let his voice drift off, when  
he heard soft sobs on the other end of the phone line.  
"Mrs. Scully? Are you OK?"

(Thank God!) She said between sobs and then a little louder,  
(And thank YOU.) Then the line went dead. /Skinner and Mrs.  
Scully don't even know how much alike they are./

He sat down on the uncomfortable plastic bench and slumped in  
his seat. It was over. Finally, finally, finally! She was  
safe.

After what seemed like hours to him, the doctors finally  
spilled out of Scully's room chatting and discussing some  
patient in Room No. 406. Mulder had already begun to become  
very nervous because of the length of time he had had to  
wait, so he hurried to stand and ask:  
"So? How is she?"

"Mr. Mulder, your wife will be fine."

He felt a tad guilty for leaving the doctors to assume that  
Scully and he were married. But he hadn't corrected them the  
first time, and wouldn't now.

/Why correct something that might soon be reality?/

/Whoa, where did that come from?/

"Well, what took so long then?"

"You seemed so worried that we decided to be thorough with  
your wife, so we could tell you that she is - as far as we  
can tell - in perfect health."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course, just go right on in."

Mulder didn't even hesitate a second before he pushed the  
door open. He stepped into a decent-sized room, filled with  
soft light and Scully. Scully was sitting on the bed propped  
up on the headboard and pillows, smiling a radiant smile at  
him. It was that welcome-back-from-the-coma/I'm-back-from-  
the-coma smile that reduced him to sputtering and was only  
meant for him alone to see. It was the most beautiful sight  
he could imagine.

He stepped to her bedside and smiled back at her.  
"I called your mom and Skinner. I think they will be here  
pretty soon now."

"Thank you."

He was almost bursting with anxiety. "So? What did the  
doctors say?"

She had swapped that beautiful smile against that annoying I-  
can't-even-leave-you-alone-for-one-second one.

"They sai-hed..." She drawled, "That my 'husband' can take  
me home now. And that they don't think anything is wrong."

He felt embarrassment at the 'husband'-thing but it was  
either he told the doctors they were married or he had to try  
and pull rank with them to be able to stay with her at this  
hour of the night. And he really didn't want to make a scene  
in front of Scully.

So he took choice No. 1.

And he certainly couldn't tell her that he thoroughly enjoyed  
being her 'husband'. Anyway he chose to change the subject,  
rather than let her get to him so easily.

"The chip?"

"Is still where it's supposed to be: in the back of my neck."

"The cancer?"

"Gone without a trace. Nothing changed, Mulder. Whatever they  
did to me, they didn't hurt me this time."

"I'm so glad." Mulder finally gave up his fighting and gave  
in to the urge he had since he entered the room. He gathered  
all his courage and gave her a hug. She returned it with as  
much gentleness and comfort as he offered.

They were brought back to reality as they heard an attention-  
demanding "Ahem". They jumped apart and turned to see both,  
Skinner and Mrs. Scully, standing in the door and smirking at  
them. Yes, Skinner, too!

Mulder was thankful that Mrs. Scully had the mercy to break  
the looming silence by walking over to her daughter,  
embracing her and talking softly to her. Scully accepted the  
hug and conversation, glad for a diversion.

With the two women talking, Mulder and Skinner were left  
looking nervously at each other. Well, Mulder looking  
nervously and Skinner looking sternly at him. /Jesus, it was  
only a hug!/

After an awkward moment Skinner stepped closer to Mulder and  
asked quietly, not to arouse the women's attention:  
"What did the tests show?"

Visibly glad too talk about something 'more safe' Mulder  
answered: "They didn't show anything unusual. No cancer, the  
chip in the back of her neck is still there and otherwise she  
appears to be fine as well."

"I'm glad to hear that. And I'm sure you are, too."  
"You can't even imagine how much." Before Mulder had realized  
what he was saying, the words were out. But Skinner only  
showed a slight trace of surprise and, after a moments'  
hesitation, nodded his understanding.

After finding out that his agent was well, Skinner had no  
good reason to stay any longer and so he left after telling  
them that they shouldn't even try to show up at work for at  
least three days - afterwards they were allowed to try, but  
he didn't make any promises. Shortly thereafter Maggie turned  
to Mulder and, while Scully donned the clothes her mother had  
brought her in the small adjoining bathroom, gave his arm a  
friendly squeeze.

"I know how devoted you are to Dana, and how desperately you  
were trying to find her. And I just wanted to remind you that  
neither I nor Dana hold you or your work responsible for  
this."

Before Mulder could say anything she silenced him with a  
movement of her hand.

"I'm not finished. Now, I know you blame yourself, and that I  
probably won't keep you from doing so, but we don't blame  
you. Dana needs you now. I can see that she's scared, even  
though she doesn't show it. She refuses to stay with me for a  
few days, but I don't want her to be alone now. I have the  
feeling that she might accept your company, if you offer.  
She'd never ask for it though. Fox, will you take care of my  
Dana for me?"

"Mrs. Scully, if I have learned anything over the last few  
years, then it's that I'm not good in keeping promises. But  
I'll try my best."

"That's all a mother wants to hear, Fox."

Scully emerged from the bathroom, completely oblivious to the  
conversation her mother and Mulder had had.

"Dana-honey, I'll be on my way now. But be sure to call me if  
you need anything, okay?"

"Sure, Mom. Thanks for bringing my bag." Scully gave her  
mother a reassuring smile and hug.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Scully."

She shook his hand. "Goodbye, Fox, take care of yourself."  
Her eyes added: 'and Dana'.

"I will," he answered and Maggie left the room.

Mulder turned around to see Scully staring after her mom  
wondrously. "I never would have thought Mom would let me get  
out of her offer to have me stay with her so easily. She  
never did before."

Mulder cleared his throat. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's get out of here." Then she frowned at him.  
"What?!" Mulder was feeling uncomfortable under her  
scrutinizing gaze.

"Didn't you wear that same suit two days ago in the car? And  
before you say anything, it doesn't look like it's been  
washed in the meantime."

Mulder smiled ruefully. "Guilty as charged. Come on, I'll  
take you home."

Scully shook her head at his decidedly Mulder-like behavior  
and preceded him out the door. Mulder, her bag in one hand,  
followed her, but as soon as he caught up with her, put his  
other arm around her shoulders. To steady her, of course.  
Scully wanted to protest, but as she looked at Mulder she saw  
the determination in his eyes and demeanor, and gave up.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 4  
2:14 am  
Scully's apartment

Scully hadn't said anything as Mulder had guided her through  
the halls of the hospital. She hadn't said anything either  
when he had opened every door - including the car door - for  
her. She hadn't even said anything when he had taken his  
over-night bag out of the trunk of the car and had brought it  
up to her apartment with them - well, she had commented, but  
at least she hadn't refused.

She had just accepted everything as a way for Mulder to pay  
penance for letting her being taken - he thought it was all  
his fault - though it was a rather groundless assumption in  
her opinion. She just let him do it. Just like when he  
fumbled for his key to her apartment and let her in so she  
didn't have to look for hers. Or when he sat her down on the  
couch while he proceeded to put their stuff away.

But his behavior was really starting to annoy her. By now she  
was sitting on her couch half an hour after arriving with a  
warm blanket around her, many, MANY pillows propping her up  
comfortably, a cup of hot cocoa and some sunflower seeds in  
front of her and Mulder running around her living room  
looking for her slippers. To say he was driving her bats was  
the understatement of the century.

When Mulder walked by her the next time she stretched out an  
arm and laid her hand on his to still his almost frantic  
pacing.

"Mulder, please just sit down, will you?"

"I thought you might want your slippers..."

She incredulously shook her head. "Mulder, I told you. I  
really don't need anything right now. Just calm down, you're  
making me nervous."

That caused a rueful smile from him. "You take care of me so  
often, I know I'll never be able to make up for all the  
occasions, but let me at least do this for you. I'm only  
trying to help..."

She looked deeply into his eyes. "I know. You already did. A  
lot. But please, I just want to relax a little before I go to  
bed."

Mulder sighed visibly and tried to let the tension out of his  
body. Scully smiled an encouraging and thankful smile for his  
efforts.

Mulder kneeled down in front of her and was now able to look  
her straight into the eyes. He reached out to her face but a  
hair's breadth before his fingers touched her cheek he  
halted.

"Oh Scully, I'm so glad you're well and back again."

Her eyes glazed over at his sincere words spoken so softly.  
Suddenly she had this big lump in her throat that she had  
trouble breathing around. She wanted to tell him that she  
knew what he had felt, that she had felt the same when he had  
disappeared and that she had already seen in his eyes the  
anguish that he had been in. But all she could get out was:  
"Oh Mulder..." She was at a loss for words.

But that seemed to be enough for Mulder, for he finished the  
remaining distance between them and traced the features of  
her face with a feather-light touch. Scully closed her eyes  
at the sensation. His touch was warm and soft but so terribly  
uncertain. As if, when he touched her, she would vanish  
again, that she would only have been a dream.

She felt tears escape her lids and slide down her cheeks to  
her chin. She wanted so badly for him to forget all the  
horrible memories, the pain, the fear that their lifes had  
been full of. How could she make him more light-hearted?  
Finally Mulder sat on the couch beside her, taking her in his  
arms, and rested his head against her shoulder.

It took her a while to notice that the sobbing she heard was  
coming from Mulder.

Scully's eyes flew open and the sight pained her heart.  
Mulder was sobbing soundly with his face buried in her  
sweater. She calmed him by stroking his hair and she heard a  
muffled and hickupy "Sorry."

A short time later he lifted his head and met her questioning  
gaze with his. "I was just so afraid that you wouldn't come  
back this time."

Scully brushed a stubborn lock of hair from his forehead and  
smiled understandingly at him. "I know. And I'm sorry about  
that. I'm afraid, too, you know. But since there is really  
nothing we can do about it we'll just have to try and enjoy  
life as much as we can, right?"

After making sure that she got to bed safely, Mulder fetched  
his duffel bag from where he had stashed it and went to take  
a shower.

It certainly felt good to be able to wash off all the fear,  
the despair, and just relax, knowing that Scully was there in  
her bedroom, probably already asleep.

Clad in fresh pajama bottoms and a T-shirt he walked into her  
room 15 minutes later. He didn't get very far though, he  
stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of her. She lay there  
motionless on her bed and in the moon light she looked even  
paler than her fair skin usually was.

/Just a few years back she was so deep in a coma, nobody  
thought she'd make it. This time she doesn't seem hurt at  
all. Where's the logic to that? And could there be a time  
bomb inside of her? Could she by dying right now? In front of  
my eyes?/

Determined not to waist any more time dwelling on that fact -  
or rather thinking that dwelling on that fact was much nicer  
while sitting beside her - he crossed over to her bed. Now he  
easily saw the breathing, the small movement her eyes and  
lips made in sleep.

/She's not in a coma, not dead. She's alive. She'll be okay./  
He looked around the small room and then got a chair that was  
standing by her window. He brought it up next to her bed and  
sat down heavily on it. Then he took her small hand in his  
and brought it to his lips. /Never again. I won't let us  
waste time ever again. The chance that it might be the last  
opportunity is way too big./

He thought back at how easy everything had seemed when he had  
started with the bureau. So many possibilities for his  
career... Not anymore. Not for him. And probably not for her  
anymore either. They only had one another, only trusted one  
another... Alone, they wouldn't survive...

"Hey G-man, you're crushing my hand..." Her soft voice roused  
him from his reverie. He noticed that he had kept her hand in  
an almost painful clutch during his musings. Quickly he  
loosened his grip.

"Sorry... Did I wake you?"

"Nah... just can't sleep with someone so majorly depressed  
next to me." He smiled sadly at her. She could read him so  
well. Even when she was asleep.

"Mulder?" She was really starting to worry. "What's going on  
in that bright mind of yours?"

"Oh, it's just telling me how stupid I've been. Says I've  
wasted time."

"Oh?"

"Yeah... and... that I messed up."

"How? When?" She was mesmerized by the halo around Mulder's  
head, caused by the moon shining through her window, but she  
had no idea what he was talking about.

He broke their gaze. " They might have just kept you this  
time. You could have never been returned. And what would that  
mean?" He searched her eyes in the darkness and gave her hand  
a friendly squeeze. "You never would have known how important  
you are to me. Because I'd never have told you."

"Oh, Mulder... I know --"

"No, let me finish, Scully. Now is as good a time as ever.  
Listen, Scully, you are my partner, my best friend. I respect  
you, I don't deserve you, I like you, and sometimes I even  
fear you...", his small chuckle made them both feel a little  
better. "You are much more intelligent that I am. You know  
when to stop, to give in. I don't and I'm sorry that you got  
hurt because of that attitude. I owe you so much in a  
professional as in a personal way. And I want to make sure  
that you know that, before some monster, mutant or human,  
rips you away from me."

Panic surged through Mulder as he felt her let go of his  
hand. But the emotion turned into joy when she sat up and  
slung her arms around his neck. Automatically his arms  
encircled her waist.

"Oh, Mulder, don't you realize? Am I so hard to read? I  
wouldn't have thought so... Mulder, everything you told me,  
you had already told me so many times..."

"I don't understand --"

A short laugh from Scully. "Your touches, Mulder, your gazes,  
your smiles. You know, I'm not really good with people, but  
after 5 years, even I am able to read something into  
gestures. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No, never... but..."

She leaned back a little to be able to look into his eyes.  
"But nevertheless, I'm glad you said it. You see, if you  
trust me enough to tell me about your feelings... I know,  
it's hard for you to say stuff like that."

He nodded, finally able to understand some of what she was  
saying. "I do trust you."

"I know." Scully touched her forehead to his. "Will you come  
to bed now?"

That made Mulder jump. "WHAT!?"

"Relax, Mulder, just lie down beside me." She laughed. "It's  
way past my bedtime. And I bet you haven't slept much in the  
last few days and I know you won't sleep much on my couch."

Mulder really didn't want to argue her logic. He was rather  
happy with it. So he put the chair back where it came from  
and crawled into bed with her. He curled his body around her  
small form, put his arms around her middle and rested his  
chin on her shoulder.

For both, sleep came fast and peacefully.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Well, well, finished another one... so, what'll the next one  
be?  
Usually we don't write UST but we thought this would be a  
nice ending... anyone in for a sequel?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She's got a way about her  
I don't know what it is  
But I know that I can't live  
Without her  
She's got a way of pleasin'  
I don't know what it is  
But there doesn't have to be  
A reason anywhere  
She's got a smile that heals me  
I don't know why it is  
But I have to laugh when she  
Reveals me  
She's got a way of talkin'  
I don't know why it is  
But it lifts me up when we are walkin'  
Anywhere  
She comes to me when I'm feelin'  
Down  
Inspires me without a sound  
She touches me and I get turned around  
Around  
She's got a way of showin'  
How I make her feel  
And I found the strength to  
keep on goin'  
She's got a light around her  
And everywhere she goes  
A million dreams of love  
Surround her everywhere  
She's got a smile that heals me  
Oh I don't know why it is  
But I have to laugh when  
She reveals me anyway

----- Billy Joel (She's got a Way)


End file.
